Oh man, Morgan. Way to pigeonhole all 30-somethings. You must think people in their 40s are essentially in their graves. I honestly can’t believe you thought this was an appropriate conclusion to draw about all people in their 30s based on the very small handful you’ve interacted with. Your perspective is shockingly myopic.

I’m 36, and my partner is 35. On our first date last June, we met up at 3pm, microdosed LSD, went to the Rubin Museum in New York, hung out in Union Square reading tarot cards and discussing the mysteries of the cosmos, walked around a bunch, and ended up talking intensely outside the Astor Place subway station until after 1am. It was a Wednesday.

On our second date, we went out dancing at House of Yes, a sex-positive alt-culture club in Brooklyn, from about 11pm-4am, then walked an hour and a half in the drizzling rain to the Williamsburg waterfront and watched the sun rise while making out ferociously on a bench. Then we got breakfast at a diner and finally kissed goodbye at 8am.

Both of us are also responsible adults with bangin’ careers and enough sense not to make vapid generalizations about an entire age group.

Oh, and I’m writing this at 4am from a hotel suite in Las Vegas, where I’ve just gotten back from trawling the strip all night in a drop-dead-sexy sequined leotard, fishnets, and bunny ears for a good friend’s bachelorette party. Nearly everyone I was with was also in their 30s. Again, all of us are hardworking, responsible adults who take good care of ourselves while still having wild nights and a shit ton of fun.

Yeah. People in their 30s never do anything fun. Dating them means your life is over and you’ll never be able to explore the city again.

Please, girl. And I do mean girl. You have a lot of growing up to do.